So, I’ve been meaning to this blog for quite some time, but there never seems to be time to do it. It just seems like life has been getting busier every week. Projects, tests, homework, sudden RA stuff all seem to come in waves. Luckily, I had some spare time tonight to get this RA blog going, and I hope to do it every week. Before I even began, I do want to apologize for the length. It’s been awhile since I started, and I have much to say. I promise it won’t be too long after this.
Since starting my job, I have really enjoyed being an RA. Everyone on staff is great, and we have melded well together. I have, knock on wood, had a very well behaved hall, and I like all my residents. There are some that do sometimes give me a hard time, but I still like them anyway. We have only had one incident so far, and I am really proud of that. It makes my residents look good, and it makes me look like a really good RA. I also have been learning a lot too. I learned that a good community relies on several things. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that it is best to be open and honest with my residents. Honesty really helps to build trust and respect in my mind. Plus, it just really helps to explain things to the residents. I feel like it gives them a sense that they know and understand what is going on instead of being in a fog about something. I also learned that coming off strong for the first couple of weeks is good. It shows the residents that I do have the capacity to do the job. The good thing though is the reigns can be loosened over time. All in all, everything has been good, and it is preparing me for my time in the classroom.
The biggest thing that I have seen this job do for me is that I have started to take more initiative to not have people walk all over me. Because of my personality, I tend to let people take advantage of my niceness, and sometimes in turns into people getting away with things that should not. Coming into this job, I knew that was going to be a weakness of mine, and I have been working on not letting that happen. There are things that my residents do get away with, but I do know that I would not let them get away with anything big. At the beginning of the year, I told them that if I had to write them up, I would do it no matter what. Thankfully, I have not yet had to do it, and I hope that I will never have to. If I do have to do one, I do know that I have the confidence to do it even if it is a suite I really like.
Over the past few months, I have noticed that there are suites that generally respect me and there are some that don’t. I feel the fact that I am around their age and a fellow Elon student is a factor. I also feel like it’s just their personalities too. There are some that just give off this vibe that they basically got their way with their parents and have probably never been told not to do something. Overall, I think it’s just the freshmen college attitude towards the freedom that they get when they come to college.
With much of the general stuff out of the way, it’s time to get to more of the deep, reflective stuff. Since this tends to be more of what I like, I swear I will try to make it interesting, but I can’t guarantee anything.
To begin, let’s start with the biggest subject in college, alcohol. I was fortunate enough to have a family that made alcohol a casual thing in the house. It was not a forbidden fruit, and I really thank my family for that. Because of this, I came to college sane when it came to alcohol, and I am still. I don’t mind a drink here and there, but I don’t drink every night. Since being an RA and having the responsibility of residents, I have started to see the alcohol culture in such a different view. It really scares me that our society has put alcohol on such a forbidden pedestal. It is this that has made drinking so unsafe I feel like, and it is so evident in college. It’s even more evident when people turn 21. They go out, drink too much, and end up doing something stupid or even harmful. I feel like we as a society need to do something to change this. I don’t know what it is, but it needs to happen soon.
Another thing that my eyes have been opened to since becoming an RA regards my personality. I had a talk tonight with one of my teaching fellow friends, and we came to the agreement that I trust people and care about people too much. I have seen this in both my duties as an RA and as a future math teacher. As an RA, I did come in with a lot of trust with my residents, and I told them that. I do trust that they will do the smartest and safest thing when they are out. I do know that there will be times when this doesn’t happen. Yet, I trust that most of the time they will do the right thing. I also care about them. I want them to have a comfortable community where they can talk to each other and to me if they need to. I want them to be able to come to me if they are having a problem. I also want them to be self sufficient in most situations. I help them learn how to become self sufficient through guidance and support. I do also reassure them that they can come to me if need be. I know that I am not here to hold their hands. I am here to create a positive community while guiding them to become sufficient global citizens. As one of my residents put it, I give them the tools for them to use and am there if they need help.
In my mind, I see this as good, but I also feel like it might be problem. I just feel like by caring and trusting as much as I do that I am setting myself up for something bad. I feel like I am setting up myself to get taken advantage of. I also feel like it’s just my mind being my mind and trying to make something out of nothing. I guess I really have not had much feedback on whether what I am doing is working or not, and that has allowed my mind to think about the negatives. I did put it perspective for myself tonight, and I do have some feedback. I have had only one incident, and that is good compared to what has happened so far on many of the halls. Also, I have some residents tell me in all seriousness that I am a good RA. That seems like good feedback, but I don’t know.
Essentially, I guess I am trying to answer the following question: Is my level of trust and care good or bad? I really don’t know, but it might be. As I was talking tonight, I compared myself to Dumbledore in Harry Potter. We definitely have the similar styles of governing, and I feel like it worked for him. Freshmen year, I did my big college writing project on ways to fix our education system and I looked to Harry Potter for answers. One of my sources analyzed Dumbledore, and it overall said that his style was actually really good. I mean it helped Harry kill Voldemort and save the wizarding world from a very wicked man. I feel like only time will tell. At least, when I become a teacher, I will know if what I am doing is the right thing.
This ends my rambling thoughts on my last few months as an RA. Thanks for reading. Feel free to leave any comments, suggestions, etc. I appreciate all of it.
Jefe
PS I need to remember to start these things earlier. Thank goodness it is Thursday and that I have Friday to recover from my loss of sleep.
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